um, wow, those are some pretty harsh comments! i put in my three favorite drinks and two out of the three times, the oracle said i was lame! ouch...

It told me that I'm a hippie! I order soy because milk goes right through me, not because I'm a hippie!! haha

lol, yeah me too!
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks grande cafe latte.

Personality type: Hippie

In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks small soy green tea latte should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.

I'm definitely a hippie, and no i would die before ordering a bacon cheeseburger at McDonald's.... gross!!

i put in an americano

Personality type: A**hat

You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink tall americano are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.

Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better

* I don't actually go to starbucks, so the bit about locally owned coffee shop is accurate!

The oracle is a little angry and bitter!!! I do not like how it says that wicca and "pseudo religions" are for morons.

The Great Coffee Oracle told me I was lame because I like my coffee plain and black. However, if I put in my second fave (Toffee Nut au Lait), it told me I was high maintenance. I didn't realize that coffee and milk with a squirt of syrup was so demanding!

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

Well..... ok

Personality type: A**-clown

You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being "addicted" to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks Venti Iced Coffee ends up addicted to crack.

Wow, the oracle drank a little too much caffeine. I'm clueless, don't go to Starbucks enough and am a stripper.

LOL so apparently i'm a stripper!

Hah! I'm not a hippie, but I am lactose intolerant.

The Oracle obviously has not made his Starbucks run this morning.

I'm a freak & a menace to society for drinking decaf ice coffee, what a way to start a Thursday morning - hah.

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Grande Iced Coconut Mocha Latte are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Wow

I am a stripper also... (The 8 years, what I've spent in religios schools was wastage...)

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Tall Double Chocolate Chip Blended Creame are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

I think we're all strippers... LOL.

That oracle woke up on the wrong side of the bed today! I put in my two drinks (my winter drink and my summer drink) and I was HIGH MAINTENANCE and a HIPPIE and my friends were plotting to kill me!! WOAH. My husband started laughing because I am NOT high-mainenance nor am I a hippie! But I guess it could've been worse...I could've been my husband...LAME. Mean Oracle...mean!! LOL

hahahahaha

I order a Tall Non-fat White Chocolate Mocha, no Whip and it said:

Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

Hahahah, love it!

I'm lame! Apparently I'm just in there to look sophisticated. ouch!

I think the oracle needs a cup of java ~ so hostile, but funny!!

I am lame...a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks grande cinammon dulce latte.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

Wow, this oracle is a bitter b*tch! P.S. I hate v8

I ordered a Tall Dark Roast with a shot of Vanilla, and this is what the Oracle said:
This is AWESOME!!!

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless (NOT TRUE). Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

Here is my drink: double tall sugar-free cinnamon dolce soy latte, one pump syrup, extra foamy

Personality type: Hippie

In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks double tall sugar free cinnamon dolce soy latte one pump syrup extra foam should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.

Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities

So I'm the first hippie on here? Falling for anything marketed as natural is not my style and I have never changed my sexual orientation. I'm not sure this says a whole lot about me but it was a fun way to start my morning!

Apparently I'm an a**hat. I love my Americanos, but I don't carry around philosophy books or spout off angry liberal opinions about issues I don't understand..the only thing that was right on was the bit about the locally-owned coffee shop thing...i do prefer to go there...

I think it only has a few responses for a variety of drinks, apparently I'm a stripper with the rest of you!!

"Most people who drink Venti Iced Nonfat Caramel Macchiato are strippers"

I love it!

Add extra caramel and now I'm high maintenance!

Apparently I am a hippie!?!?

And a porn star???

Sigh, I am also an A**hat, pseudo intellectual....to a T

Luci Lu:

I think it's the no whip that puts us in the "High Maintenance" arena. My fav is Vente Skinny Mocha, no whip, both iced and hot, so I got the same answer for both.

Although I am kind of arrogant......and bossy.....mmmmmmm

I'm a freak! (Love it!) Personality type: Freak

No person of sound mind would go to an EXPENSIVE COFFEE SHOP to get a drink WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Your hobbies include going to ski resorts in the summer and flushing $5 bills down the toilet. You are a menace to society.

Also drinks: Non-alcoholic beer
Can also be found at: Pools with no water

I have a heart murmur, I can't have caffeine, honest guys.

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink iced grande vanilla mocha are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

TOTALLY not true, I'm at Starbucks twice a day or more. I drink wine, but not wine coolers....and I'd rather shop online than deal with the crowds of teenagers at the malls!

OMG! Apparently I'm a stripper and clueless! At least I'm not alone!

OMG! I am clueless and a stripper. This actually made me laugh out loud. I order a tall mocha light frapp because I love them, not because I don't know what to order or how to pronounce items on the menu.

Bastard oracle...

i get a plain old venti coffee and it called me high maintenance!

Personality type: Fat

You're always worrying about your weight. That's because you're fat. You're constantly whining about problems that are your own fault. You are a total pain in the a**.

Also drinks: Diet RC Cola
Can also be found: On Jerry Springer

Damn. That hurts.
P.S. I'm not fat.

really harsh

Scary! It was spot on. I don't drink coffee, so if I am found in Starbucks it's because it's mid-winter and I want some steamed milk.

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks small steamed milk.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

I do drink V8 and I can often be found on the couch at home. However, I'm not snooty and I don't watch America' Funniest Home Videos. And I haven't said "friggin" in years.

Apparently I am lame, clueless, a hippie and high maintenance? No wonder I'm on drugs.

haha.. apparently I'm a High Maintenance stripper... oh well.. another reason to go to McDonalds.. their iced coffee is what's up!! and it's cheaper!

lol! ha ha ha
Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

This is soooo not me. Maybe some. ha ha ha ha!